Fire Music!

Yo, I just peeped this new rap group on allhiphop.com. The group is called 'Pacific Division' and they'r from southern California. Check out their vid called 'Woman Problems', it's fire!

http://videos.onsmash.com/v/MQgXQB29KpIY8prL

Perth Amboy

Life can be strange sometimes. This morning I woke up repeating Perth Amboy over and over. What the hell? As soon as I could get myself out of bed, I Googled Perth Amboy and found out it's a small town in NJ. I still don't know why I was mumbling that phrase when I woke up because I don't believe I've ever been there, know anyone there or anything related.

If anyone knows anything about Perth Amboy that I should know, hit me up.

peace always,

strong

Barack's Hateration Crew

All the black folk that have summarily written off Barack Obama without even listening to the man are proof positive that the agenda 'the man' set up over 300+ years ago is alive and working quite effectively.

Many of us are so full of self-hate and self-loathing that we'll use any excuse to tear a brother/sister down. Oftentimes without getting to know the person or even wanting to. Spike Lee said it best in 'School Daze'..."Wake Up Black People!".

Now, I'm not saying that you should blindly support a candidate just because he is black. I'm saying, do your homework before you open your big fat mouths. And that goes for ole' pickaninny Bob Johson and the rest of his ilk!

Never Judge A Book By It's Cover!

Sometimes I don't know what to think of this world. Especially this crazy ass place we call home...the good ole' US of A. Today I was flipping channels when I saw a familiar face and I froze in my tracks. Apparently, a young man who goes by the name of Keyontyli Goffney (and his twin brother) is a suspect in a string of over 40 'rooftop robberies'.

First, let me backtrack to yesterday's mail. I sauntered downstairs to my mailbox and was delighted to see that my quarterly 'Clik' magazine had arrived. Needless to say I was devastated to see Ari Gold on the cover. You see, Clik magazine is supposedly America's #1 Black Gay Lifestyle magazine. So why the hell is Ari Gold (a white Jewish man) on the cover? Trust me, that's a whole 'nother blog. Suffice it to say that I wasted no time in emailing the editor-in-chief of Clik magazine to express how I felt.

Anyways, inside the new issue of Clik magazine is a six-page spread of an up and coming openly gay black male model. Guess who? None other than Mr. Keyontyli Goffney. Now, I've been following this young man's career for at least 3 years now. He started out in gay porno pictorials, then did some internet pron and I think a movie or two. He even did a nude pictorial with his twin brother, Taleon, which caused quite a stir in the black glbt/sgl communities about two years ago or so.

Then today, I see the fool on the news as an alleged burglar. Not just any burglar mind you, but the locally infamous 'rooftop burglars'. According to local police the twins and possibly another accomplice have robbed up to 40 or so businesses in Philadelphia, Delaware and New Jersey by hacking their way through rooftops with axes, hammers , etc.

I think part of the reason this really upsets me is because I'm a very average-looking gay guy. I'm the one who has to rely on his style, charm and wit to meet guys. This guy, being the looker he is, only had to walk out the door. He has God-given beauty and according to online sources was making a good living as a legitimate model in the last year or two. Why on earth would he jeopardize all that to rob small businesses!?!

I tell you, I just don't understand most people and I don't think I ever will. All I can say is never, ever be jealous of anyone because of how they look, or what they have because you never know how they got it or what they're doing to keep it. I'm glad for my average looks, my above-average intelligence and my simple life. I thank God for peace of mind and for clarity about my purpose here on this earth.

Try, Try and Try Again

Recently my ex has been trying to weasel his way back into my life. We both attend the same church, so I see him on Sundays and I see him at choir rehearsal. For me, that's more than enough, especially considering the reasons behind our breakup.

As a compassionate Christian I am courteous to him and say hello and goodbye when I see him. For me, that's more than sufficient, especially just 4-5 months after an extremely bitter breakup. Some people I know, said they wouldn't even want to be in the same room with a person who did what he has done. However, I have forgiven him and moved on.

Unfortunately, my ex seems to be taking my kindness for weakness. He's started emailing and calling me about trivial things to 'test' the waters. What he doesn't seem to understand is that there isn't a chance in hell that I would get back with him! It's not personal, just business...lol. (I have to go about the business of my life and taking care of my person).

On Valentine's Day, dude calls and gabs on about some church-related issues (since that's all we have in common anymore) and at the very end of the conversation says "Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day". I said "Thank you, goodbye".

Yesterday, the fool calls me and says he would like to get together to have lunch and discuss "...ideas for the music ministry". Of course, I knew what he really wanted to talk about and I wanted no parts of it ! I simply stated that I didn't think that it was a "good idea" so soon after the breakup and that I was "not comfortable being alone with him".

Less than an hour later, he emails me asking me to "have lunch". I called him and explained again, this time much more firmly, that I thought having lunch with him was both a bad idea and unnecessary. I further eplained that I really didn't have anything to say to him about our past and that if he had something to say to me, he could say it over the phone. So, he starts talking some bull$hit about ideas for the music ministry and eventually he apologizes to me for the things he did that led to our breakup. I asked if that was all, he said yes, and I said thanks for the apology, and that we should limit our contact to church and rehearsals. I also stated that I think that I have been more than fair considering the circumstances surrounding our breakup.

If you guys have any opinions on this or any of my other blogs, leave a comment.

peace always,

strong

Is it time to move on?

For the past week I've had a friend of many years visiting. We are both currently unemployed so what better to do than hang out? Initially, he was visiting for the weekend, however, the visit is at 6 days now. So far, so good, cuz' we get along pretty well. However, I'm am starting to notice some things.

My friend seems to be stuck in sort of a 'teen' mode (He's in his mid 30's). He surfs dating/hook-up sites all day long and calls the people he 'meets' on these sites his friends. Then he's preplexed when they don't come to visit or don't want to hook-up.

In addition, I notice that we don't have a lot to talk about besides guys. Don't get me wrong, I love men, love looking at them and discussing them, but sheesh isn't there more to talk about with all that's going on in this world?!?

Send me your feedback on this and any other issues.

peace always,

strong

Are You Ready?

I was watching 'Oprah' the other day and I had an 'Aha' moment. Oprah's been talking about living your best life for years now and I think I finally get it. I suddenly realize that I am ready and willing to change my life for the better in all aspects. I have printed color flyers that read 'I Am Willing To Change'. I posted one on my fridge, one in my bathroom and one on my front door (so that when I'm leaving the house, it's the last thing I see).

There are so many things I want to do. I'll start with small things, like excercising for at least an hour a day (both indoors and outdoors), reading for at least an hour a day (for pleasure, not for school) and meditating and continuing to pray daily.

I'll keep you guys posted as I begin to make these changes .

peace always,

strong

Clearing The Cobwebs of Debt

For years now, I've been weighed down by debt. Overall, I don't have very much debt compared to many of my friends and family. However, because the debt has been sitting on my credit report unresolved it has negatively affected my credit rating and my life in so many ways. Now, I am willing and ready to face the debt and make room for growth and progress in my life.

I can't recall how many times I have thought about wanting to buy something, a home, condo, car or any number of things only to be defeated by the ugly monster called my credit score. It all started when I was 17 and entered University. I didn't know anything about life or responsibility, yet I was thrust into the young adult world of a 36,000 student school. Because I registered late, when I arrived my financial aid wasn't ready, I had no money to buy books. I tried copying pages from classmates textbooks but that didn't work out too well. I quickly fell behind in my studies and thus began my downhill slide. By the time my financial aid arrived in the late fall, I was failing classes and took the money to shop with. My first major mistake. I could possibly have salvaged the semester but made a foolish choice and ended my time in college rather quickly.

Over the years, my mother co-signed for my first car and I didn't pay the car note. Once I didn't pay my rent on an apartment and was evicted even though I was bringing home 4 times the rent in monthly take-home income. I was even approved for an unsecured credit card and quickly f*cked that up!

I finally have realized that all these years I have been afraid of success. Even though I secretly lusted after material possessions and the peace of mind having savings and investments can bring, I must have somehow thought that I was unworthy of that peace. Now, I am ready. I am ready to clean up my debts, rebuild my credit history and enjoy the advantages that having an excellent credit history can provide in this country. It's taken nearly 39 years and a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. But I thank God for allowing me to finally be ready to live my best life.

I'm going to order copies of all three credit reports. Then, I will write to each vendor and ask that all debts 7 years or older be removed from my credit report. In my case, this should clear up a substantial number of old accounts that are weighing down my credit score. For other accounts, I will write to the vendors and negotiate settlement amounts. Typically, you can negotiate settlement amounts for pennies on the dollar of the original debt. Finally, I will open three secured credit cards and make on-time monthly payments on them. This will help me to rebuild my credit score and in combination with the systematic removal of old debt from my credit report, my credit score will quickly rise. In 1-2 years (or possibly less), I want to have a 790-850 credit score. A credit score in that range will allow me to buy a house or car at the best available interest rates and I will also be eligible for the lowest interest rates on credit cards.

I also have negotiated payment arrangements on my old student loans. Defaulted student loans are NEVER removed from your credit report. You must pay the loans off. Since I am planning to return to college and finally complete my degree this fall, I will make 6 months of payments, then I will be eligible for a 10-year deferrment of my old student loans. (Call the US Dept. of Education for more details and to make payment arrangements 800-621-3115). In addition, I have successfully negotiated to have over $5,ooo of penalty and late fees removed. This will substantially lower my overall student loan debt.

We have all made mistakes in life. Mine was not being responsible and accountable to pay my debts. Now, I have made the healthy decision to face my debt crisis and work my way out of this mountain of debt. I know that it can be done and I can't wait to see how my life will improve in all areas as a result. I am becoming a more responsible person and this will make me more well-rounded overall.

(I pray that my sharing my most intimate secrets has helped at least one person).

peace always,

strong

Separating your past from your present

I've been invited to a Superbowl Party. Sounds like fun right? I thought so too, until my friend springs on me that he wants to invite my ex and wants to know if that's ok with me. Well the answer is heck no! I'm cordial with my ex but we've been apart about 4-5 months and I'm not quite ready to hang out and party with him. I see him at church and frankly that's more than enough. If you guys have any opinions on this matter, let me know.

peace,

strong