Plight of the BGM

Follow me on Twitter

2009-07-29T11:26:00.003-07:00

Hey there! Yeah I'm talking to you. You can now follow me on Twitter at Strongforu . See ya' there!

Harry Potter

2009-07-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

Today I saw the new Harry Potter film and I must say that the ending left me quite sad.

Death Comes

2009-07-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

Today noted author E. Lynn Harris died at the tender age of 54. I also attended the funeral of a friends' mother, she was 79. In addition, Michael Jackson died about two weeks ago and Farah Fawcett around the same time. Walter Cronkite has also died in the past week. It's all a bit overwhelming.

All this talk of death has renewed my commitment to live my life as I see fit and not as anyone else thinks I should live it. I strongly encourage you all to do the same.

peace and blessings,

strong

Life after 40....what's next?

2009-07-09T17:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I turned 40 in March and lost my job in June. What's next? I am talking (long-distance) to a rather nice guy, but I must say that I've had my fill of long-distance relationships and am not expecting anything from this, except good phone conversation.

I'm working a temp job now and commuting 3 hrs a day roundtrip. It's been 3 weeks now and already I'm wondering how much longer I can keep this up. Prayerfully the job market will open up soon and I can find something closer to home.

peace,

strong

I'm 40....now what?!?

2009-03-29T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Folks,

Just a quick note to let you know that I recently celebrated my 40th birthday party. I wanted to have a huge celebration, however, I had to make important financial decisions which led to me hanging out with two good friends. Ultimately, that was best because they are the two people I am closest to here in this torrid city of brotherly love and sisterly affection. Sometimes I feel like if I were in Atlanta or Charlotte or somewhere else then maybe my life would be better. Then, I realize that people are people everywhere you go and that life is what it is. It's my job to make the best of it and enjoy the ride!!!

Why is it?....

2009-02-12T14:37:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I only seem to think of blogging when I have a lot on my mind? I've noticed that many other bloggers, blog daily, almost religiously. However, no matter how determined I am to start blogging or how many hours I spend reading or viewing (video) other's blogs, I neglect my own. For those of you who periodically check to see what's new in my life, I sincerely apologize. So let's do a recap of the last 6 months or so, eh?

On Labor Day, the ex and I got back together. Don't even ask me what the hell I was thinking. I quickly realized that the leopard had not changed his spots and we were back at ground zero all over again. For some reason, I had decided to give him until Thanksgiving, no matter what, to see how things went. They went horribly! Dude is ok, but just not the one for me.

Moving on, my new job (the one I started last June), still sucks! I feel so bad complaining in this economy where millions were laid off just last year and hundreds of thousands more are losing work every month. However, this job is difficult and I still don't completely know what I'm doing. Granted, management did say that it would take at least a full year for most of us to begin to understand what we're doing. But hey, I've always been 'the smart kid'. It's vexing for me to not understand something almost immediately. I've jsut decided to give my best and hope and pray that it all works out for the good.

Church is going ok as well. It never ceases to amaze me how some of the most trifling people come to the church with the sole intent of raising as much sand as they possibly can.

So, there you have it, between work, church and social life I am drained. I need a 7 day/6 night all expenses paid vacation away from everyone that I know. Perhaps, this summer?

Until next time,

peace....Strong

2009!

2009-01-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

In 2009 I'm praying for a wonderful new good-paying job that I will love! (I also would love to work with kind, good-hearted people). I am also praying for continued good health. I want lots of money to help myself, my family and my community. I am praying to meet a life partner who will compliment me and who I can spend the rest of my life with! I pray for continued growth in my ministerial efforts and for a return to pursuing my college education.

I wish all of you reading this, peace, love, prosperity, lots of love and good health!

Thoughts on the Recession and Depression

2008-11-22T14:20:00.001-08:00

Hey Folks,

I know it's been a while since I've posted. I've recently been ordained a Deacon and completed a hellatious 20-week training for my "good gvt job". In addition, I've been dating for the last 2 1/2 months or so.

So, with all that and a myriad of other things going on in my life, I've been a bit too busy to post regularly. That being said, I'm here now and I can tell you that I'm stoked about the election of President-Elect Barack Obama. I've also been feeling pretty good lately. That is, until I opened the mail the other day and realized I have huge new utility bills and am being called by credit collectors multiple times a day to pay old debts.

I tell you, it seems that as soon as I have a good rhythm going in life, I get hit by a ton of bricks. I'm considering taking on a part-time job. I've already applied to several places. So, let's see what happens.

Anyways, I'm tired of typing now. I'll come back soon and let you know later.

strong

God Bless America! Part2

2008-11-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

God Bless America! We have elected our first (publicly acknowledged) African-American president and a man who can help begin to turn the tide of disaster of the last eight years of idiotic rule!

Lord Help Me!

2008-09-16T18:05:00.001-07:00

Folks, I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed right now. My ordination is coming up, I'm writing articles for a soon-to-be-published national magazine, I'm trapped in a dusty construction site for training on my new job until January, I'm taking a 3rd go-round dating this guy (I sometimes wonder why?!?), and folks in the church are frankly getting on my last nerve! A wise pastor said to me that I should remember the 'Serenity Prayer'.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

WTF!

2008-09-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

My life is moving so quickly right now that I wish I could get off the moving sidewalk and slow down the pace! I'm still in training on this cray a$$ job, working with crazy a$$ people who are denigrating by the moment.

We're currently working in a construction environment surrounded on two sides by plastic tarps from floor to ceiling, no windows and drywall dust everywhere (including in my lungs!!!!!!~!!!!). Meanwhile, I've got jacka$$ twenty-somethings who think they know every damn thing bitching and whining about nonsense.

In my 'other' life I'm dating my ex which I'm still uncertain about and the whole scenario makes me wonder if I've lost it!

In addition, it's exactly one month before my ordination and I realize that this is all just a test.

peace....
stay strong!

Men Require A Lot of Work...

2008-09-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

Whoever said that it takes a lot of work to build and maintain a healthy relationship never lied! I wonder if I have what it takes to make this work? I'm a very eccentric and unique person and it's going to take someone really unique to get me. Keep me in your prayers.

Strong

What Should I Do?

2008-09-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

Now my ex wants to see me again and oddly enough I want to see him too! WTF?!?! Am I a glutton for punishment or what? He claims he has evolved over the last year and is a better/different person. We'll see, I'm still nervous about the whole thing. This would be the third time he and I have tried this ish! Damn, I don't even know what the heck is going on. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep you updated as to what happens. I do know that I am going to take it one day at a time.

peace,

Strong

Obama for yo' Mama Baby!

2008-08-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 and I can't believe that in just two days Barack Obama is scheduled to accept the nomination for the Democratic Presidential candidate of the United States of Amerikkka!

Furthermore, I can't believe that I will be watching Sen. Obama accept the nomination at a party sponsored by LGBT people of color in a major metropolitan city. We've come a long way Amerikkka!

Busy Bee!

2008-08-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

I have been extremely busy lately. I have been confirmed for ordination as a Deacon. I am still in training (Week 11) of 16 for my new job. I'm teaching New Members class at church, and I traveled to Newark on Saturday and NYC on Sunday.

I have got to slow down. I didn't even have time to hang out with my friends this past weekend.

Aye yaye yaye!!!

Chaos in the Classroom

2008-08-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought that a group of well-educated professionals would be such a group of whiners! I am greatly dissapointed in some of my new co-workers apathetic attitudes and gossip-mongering. Come on people, we're all adults here, let's act like it!

Time Flies.....

2008-08-04T15:12:00.001-07:00

Time flies when you're training for a new job. It seems like lately my life has been on 'go!'. I'm in week 9 of the 16-week training course and I thank God for it! This job is going to be something else. My prayer is that before training is over, it will all start to make sense to me.

Otherwise, life is going ok. I've been confirmed for ordination as a Deacon by my pastor. The next steps will involve meeting with my Jurisdictional Bishop and after that the Archbishop. Keep me in your prayers as I move forward in this process.

My romantic life is non-existent at the present time. However, I have decided that I am ready to start dating again when the right opportunity presents itself.

peace and blessings always,

Strong

Happy Saturday!!!

2008-07-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

Thank God for Saturdays! I'm just glad to have 60 hours off for the weekend.

Wow! New Growth!

2008-07-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

My best friend just came up for the weekend and for the first time in a long time, we had a pleasant visit with each other. Maybe, it's because we're both maturing both in age and spirituality. Either way, I'm glad. He's a great friend of 21 years and I feel priviledged to have him in my life.

Here's to friends!

Independence Day!

2008-07-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July! Many of my friends debate the significance of Independence Day. Me, I'm just grateful for a paid day off work. The training for my new job is going well. Four weeks down, 12 weeks to go. I know that I will succeed in this career path.

Last night a friend and I went to the Art Museum on the Ben Franklin Parkway in downtown Philly. There were over 30,o00 people there, lots of food, a free concert by John Legend featuring Estelle ('American Boy') and an amazing fireworks show.

Tonight, I'm going to see the new Will Smith movie, 'Hancock'. I can't wait. So, however you choose to acknowledge Independence Day, enjoy yourself and make sure you spend quality time with friends and family.

peace always,

Strong

Pride In The City!?!

2008-06-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

Hey folks! I've just returned from Gay Pride in NYC! I had a blast hanging out with friends and acquaintances. However, I made some observations that have changed the way I view Pride events in general.

1) I'm getting older and the kids at pride seem to be getting younger. Why is it that guys over 30 seem to fall off the gay social radar? The few older guys I did see were mostly chasing young bucks.
2) Hanging out until 6 in the morning does not have the appeal to me that it once did. On the first night we partied in NYC, I was ready to go home after only a couple hours in the club. Needless to say, we didn't leave until the club closed at 5 am. I found my friends asleep on a sofa in the lower level of the club and they were the ones who wanted to stay!!! Hahaha....LOL.
3)Most gay men are still afraid to engage in conversation with each other unless it's a sexual come-on. If you try to engage many men in general convo and don't hit on them in the first few minutes they get this puzzled look on their face, like "Why don't you want to fcuk me?!?".

I didn't stay for the big parade on Christoper Street. After Friday and Saturday, I'd had enough and bid my friends adieu Sunday afternoon. Ah, it's good to be back home.

Summer Is Officially Here!

2008-06-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

Well boys and girls, it's official, summertime is here. The weird part is that the temps are in the low 70's here in philly, but I'm definitely not complaining. For everyday that the temperature is mild, I save money on cooling this gigantic apartment!

I made it through the first two weeks of training and orientation on the new job. In the first week, everyone was so nice and professional. By the second week, true personalities were coming out and things started to get interesting.

My training class is made up of a diverse group of blacks, whites and hispanics. Educationally, there are several MBA's, one lawyer, and a host of recent college grads. I have about 14 more weeks to go in training and I'm interested to see how personalities continue to be exposed.

Socially, I need to continue to nurturing my existing frienships as well as fostering new ones. I would love to have a buddy just to hang out with to go to movies, concerts and plays. The people I know now are busy entrepreneurs, work weekends, and in one case, just plain fickle...lol.

I won't be able to accept the scholarship that I was offered because I was not able to figure out how I would pay my rent and buy groceries on a part-time gig. (The scholarship covered books & tuition and required I enroll full-time).

Keep me in your prayers and send me lots of positive energy and I will do the same for you.

peace always,

Strong

New Beginnings

2008-06-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I start my new job. I don't know why, but I'm concerned about the government checking everything I've ever done in my life. I've never been to jail and don't have a criminal record, but I have a feeling they'll be looking at far more than that. Oh well, I guess it's part of the price to pay.

I've also been having some weird thoughts about the idea that I will be making a living due to the suffering of others. On the one hand, I will be helping veterans who have served their country, but on the other hand, the expansion that gave me my job is a direct result of the ongoing wars the US is involved in all over the Middle East.

I'm going to try to focus on the fact that I will be supporting veterans who have served our country and give them my best.

peace always,

Strong

God Bless America!

2008-05-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

Hello People! I finally recieved the offer letter for my new job with the federal government! I'm ecstatic. I've wanted to be a civil servant for some time and the day has arrived.

I'll earn nearly 20% more than I did on my old job and I'll have the job security that comes with working for the federal government. After a 4 month classroom training and two years as a 'trainee' the sky is the limit with where I can go in the agency. I just read a NY times article stating that the agency I'll be working for is growing like crazy and that there's no slowdown in the forseeable future.

The offer package has over 50 pages in it! Now I know what people mean when they talk about 'red tape' and bureaucracy slowing America down. However, I will gladly fill out all the paperwork they need me to. God Bless America!

Finally!

2008-05-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

I feel like Cece Peniston. On one of her dance classics she sang "Finally, it has happened to me...and I'm so excited!". Well finally, boys & girls I have been made an offer for a job. I don't want to say too much until I receive the offer letter in the mail. Stay tuned for more info in the next week or so.

peace always,

strong

Can You Believe This?

2008-05-11T06:59:00.000-07:00

My ex treated me like ish! I allowed it while we lived together for over 6 months, but thank God I had enough self-love and self-esteem to get out of that horrible situation.

Now the a$$hole is in a relationship with another dude who is supposedly "using" him and our mutual friends want me to intervene. WTF!?! Two people actually had conversations with me yesterday about how I should reach out to him and warn him about what's going on. Ha! That'll be the day. In my book, what goes around, comes around. Perhaps this is a valuable lesson that he needs to learn.

Personally, I think the guy is 'ok' and that they seem happy together. Sometimes I think that our mutual friends are still holding out hope that we will get back together, so they want the new dude out of the picture. However, I've learned some valuable lessons in life and one of the biggest ones is that "He's just not that into you". The way my ex interacts with the new guy is completely more natural and affectionate than we ever did, so I say "Cheers' to them both.

peace always,

strong

Summertime And The Livin' Ain't Easy!!!

2008-05-08T18:02:00.000-07:00

It's official. The economy sucks!!! I've been looking for a job since February. It's now May! I've applied to over 60 companies for jobs that I'm qualified for. I have a great resume that was professionally put together (by one of the top firms in the country). I'm well-spoken and confident in interviews.

The only thing I can think of is this country is truly in a recession and we're burying our head in the sand.

Things are so bad for me financially, that I had to humble myself and ask my ex to borrow money to pay my rent. Wow! I never thought I'd reach such a low in this lifetime. Especially from someone who was so thoughtless to me in the past.

The only thing that keeps me going is my faith in God! If it weren't for that, I don't know where I'd be right now.

No Sex In This City

2008-04-20T05:36:00.000-07:00

I've been single now for 8 months and I have had sex twice in that timeframe. My intention is to not be involved with another man for a long, long, long time. This is my time to do some soul-searching, praying and meditating. I need to figure out why I'm always attracting losers! Yeah, they look good on the outside and on paper, but once I get to know them, it's just too much! (or not enough in some cases).

I know that part of the problem lies within me. So, I'm working on my self-esteem, self-love and my spiritual and prayer life. In addition, I've decided to (finally) stop looking! I will let love find me when it's ready. I will continue to pursue higher education and work on my personal goals, so that when he comes, I will be ready for him.

Furthermore, I am determined to listen to my instincts from the beginning. They will never lead me wrong.

peace always,

strong

Letting Go

2008-04-13T06:58:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I find myself in a place where I need to make changes in the people that I surround myself with. I'm in that place right now.

I've got a few 'friends' and acquaintances that I find are really draining and do not always have my best interest at heart. There's even one person that didn't call me for 6 months, but when they were mourning both the loss of a family member and a relationship-gone-bad, they miraculously found my number!?! Of course, me being the martyr I am took the person under my wing and counseled and consoled them. But, as I was doing this I realized that I was being used and that the life was being drained out of me!

I realize that a part of my calling in this world is to counsel others and to help them realize their full potential. However, in my personal life, I would like some reciprocity. Is that asking too much, or is it that because I am who I am, that I must sacrifice and give and expect little to nothing in return?!? I mean, I do find gratification in helping strangers and others, but sheez what must a man do to have a friend who can call just to say "Hello" or, "Let's hang out and have some fun?".

Anyways, in the end it's all good, sometimes I just need to vent. I will be distancing myself from a few people though, if only for a short while.

peace always,

strong

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

2008-04-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

Alas, I've finally had to admit that my heart has been broken. I am a very strong man and for the last 8 months, I've pretended that I was ok. But now, seeing him become 'brand new' with a new boyfriend has really f'ed me up.

I don't want to care, but for some stupid reason I do. All I've ever wanted is a healthy, happy relationship with someone who truly loves me as I would them. It all seems so simple, but for me, is nearly impossible.

I've had so much success in life, yet success in love seems to elude me. Perhaps, I've been looking for love in all the wrong places. So, I've decided to focus on me from now on. I'm returning to school in the fall with my ultimate goal being a Doctor of Ministry degree. I'm going to pursue my life's passions and perhaps along the way, love will find me.

Maybe in the course of my studies, I will learn more about myself and why I tend to attract such great actors. Those who can give the outside appearance of being caring, kind and considerate...but on the inside they are cruel, malicious, sneaky and manipulative. Of course, if I had listened to my instincts, I would not have ended up in those predicaments.

peace always,

strong

April Fool's

2008-04-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well it's April and my job search continues. Temp agencies won't return my calls, and even the local dollar store hasn't called me back about a cashier's position. And George Bush says there's nothing wrong with the economy. Something's gotta give soon, so that I can continue to live in the manner that I'm accustomed to...which is having running water, electricity and a roof over my head.

The good news is that I'm remaining optimistic because I am a man of faith and a truly spiritual person. There's a big job fair next week and I'm going to that. Perhaps something good will come out of that. I know that God has always taken care of me and will continue to do so. All I've got to do is believe.

peace always,

strong

The Economy Sucks!!!

2008-03-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

I recently started looking for a new job and let me tell you...the market has definitely changed. I first contacted temp agencies just to get my feet wet and see if there were any temp-to-perm opportunities out there. I've received several offers but the companies are offering several dollars less per hour than in 2002 which was the last time I used a temp agency or a headhunter.

Bush and his cronies have really f'ed things up for the working class. Gas is over $3/gallon, heating oil for our homes is sky-high, food prices are through the roof, and insurance (car, health, home, etc.) is breaking records for the premium costs we pay.

We're spending BILLIONS every month on the Iraq war!?! How can you spend billions per month in a dustbowl? I just don't get it. Our urban schools are crumbling and our students are failing.

Wake up Amerikkka! Wake up!

Happy Birthday!!!

2008-03-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

Thursday, March 13th was my 39th birthday. A dear old friend took me to dinner at a very upscale restaurant and we had a blast. Saturday night, I hosted a birthday party at my home with a dozen or so of my closest friends and acquaintances. Sunday evening, I invited another dozen or so friends to a poetry event where we concluded my birthday weekend celebrations. I was really touched by the outpouring of love and generosity from my friends and acquaintances and I'm very grateful for having all of them in my life.

Thank You God for always honoring Your Word and never ever failing me.

peace always,

strong

Ex-es

2008-03-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

They say that "life is a bitch and then you die". While I don't necessarily subscribe to that line of thought, I must admit that sometimes life can certainly throw some curve balls.

This has been the week of exes. My most recent ex is still up to his usual slimy, sneaky and manipulative ways. He says one thing and does the complete opposite. However, he is manipulating people around him (that we both know) and trying to make it seem like he is so in love with me. Meanwhile, he's sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry that he can catch. Not that it really matters, because he and I are so over that I can't even see him on my horizon anymore.

Another ex has been calling me asking for advice on how to deal with his current beau. (WTF!!!) I have to sit and listen while he whines on and on about some dude who obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about him, yet I'm supposed to empathize. Damn! Grow some cojones dude!

The third ex is a guy I dated very briefly long-distance. Occasionally, I send emails out to friends and include him on the list. Typically, this ex will respond and say hello or ask how I'm doing. Interestingly enough, he only responds to my emails. He never takes the initiative to call me or email me first. (Yet another manipulative mf'er).

I am so tired of wimpy-ass men with no backbone! I now understand what women mean when they say "Where are all the real men?!?".

I Am Growing

2008-03-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

Growth is a funny thing. Over the course of the last 2 years, I have experienced tremendous growth and change. I can almost see the evolution on a daily basis. I'm not just tooting my own horn here, I share this information in the hopes that it can help someone else.

In February of 2006 I discovered the Unity Fellowship Church of Christ Movement. It's a denomination that I knew nothing about, but that has changed my life completely. I'm not here to proselytize anyone, but I encourage you to find your own faith walk, whatever that may be, and you will be changed for the better. I have developed a combination of Christian prayer and Buddhist meditation that has helped me see huge leaps in my personal and spiritual growth.

I have learned to pray and chant for exactly what I want in life. Ask and you shall receive. I know now, more than ever that this is true. Don't set any limitations on your life or your dreams. Free yourself to receive everything that God and the Universe has in store for you.

In addition, I want to let everyone know that you must love yourself. Discontinue the playing of all those old 'tapes' of negativity. It doesn't matter what anyone else has said to you in life or even done to you. Let it all go, and press forward into Love and Light.

I pray that my sharing has helped you in some small way.

peace always,

Strong

Is It Hard To Say Goodbye?

2008-03-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

Today, I saw my ex 'chatting up' another guy and I couldn't believe that I felt a tinge of jealousy. I mean, this is the guy that cheated on me and did all kinds of other things.

It's amazing how even if a person was crappy towards us, and even though we don't want them for ourselves, it bothers us when we see them with someone else.

A part of me almost wanted to warn the guy, but then I remembered one of my most important personal principles. "What goes around comes around!". Nah, actually, what I was thinking is that when my ex meets the right person for him that maybe he will treat them well. I'm a firm believer that meeting the 'right' person for you makes all the difference in the world. And when both parties feel the same way, then I believe it is nearly impossible for you to mistreat each other.

So, to my ex and his newfound friend, I wish you the best.

peace always,

Strong

Fire Music!

2008-02-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

Yo, I just peeped this new rap group on allhiphop.com. The group is called 'Pacific Division' and they'r from southern California. Check out their vid called 'Woman Problems', it's fire!

http://videos.onsmash.com/v/MQgXQB29KpIY8prL

Perth Amboy

2008-02-27T12:05:00.000-08:00

Life can be strange sometimes. This morning I woke up repeating Perth Amboy over and over. What the hell? As soon as I could get myself out of bed, I Googled Perth Amboy and found out it's a small town in NJ. I still don't know why I was mumbling that phrase when I woke up because I don't believe I've ever been there, know anyone there or anything related.

If anyone knows anything about Perth Amboy that I should know, hit me up.

peace always,

strong

Barack's Hateration Crew

2008-02-21T06:55:00.001-08:00

All the black folk that have summarily written off Barack Obama without even listening to the man are proof positive that the agenda 'the man' set up over 300+ years ago is alive and working quite effectively.

Many of us are so full of self-hate and self-loathing that we'll use any excuse to tear a brother/sister down. Oftentimes without getting to know the person or even wanting to. Spike Lee said it best in 'School Daze'..."Wake Up Black People!".

Now, I'm not saying that you should blindly support a candidate just because he is black. I'm saying, do your homework before you open your big fat mouths. And that goes for ole' pickaninny Bob Johson and the rest of his ilk!

Never Judge A Book By It's Cover!

2008-02-20T20:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I don't know what to think of this world. Especially this crazy ass place we call home...the good ole' US of A. Today I was flipping channels when I saw a familiar face and I froze in my tracks. Apparently, a young man who goes by the name of Keyontyli Goffney (and his twin brother) is a suspect in a string of over 40 'rooftop robberies'.

First, let me backtrack to yesterday's mail. I sauntered downstairs to my mailbox and was delighted to see that my quarterly 'Clik' magazine had arrived. Needless to say I was devastated to see Ari Gold on the cover. You see, Clik magazine is supposedly America's #1 Black Gay Lifestyle magazine. So why the hell is Ari Gold (a white Jewish man) on the cover? Trust me, that's a whole 'nother blog. Suffice it to say that I wasted no time in emailing the editor-in-chief of Clik magazine to express how I felt.

Anyways, inside the new issue of Clik magazine is a six-page spread of an up and coming openly gay black male model. Guess who? None other than Mr. Keyontyli Goffney. Now, I've been following this young man's career for at least 3 years now. He started out in gay porno pictorials, then did some internet pron and I think a movie or two. He even did a nude pictorial with his twin brother, Taleon, which caused quite a stir in the black glbt/sgl communities about two years ago or so.

Then today, I see the fool on the news as an alleged burglar. Not just any burglar mind you, but the locally infamous 'rooftop burglars'. According to local police the twins and possibly another accomplice have robbed up to 40 or so businesses in Philadelphia, Delaware and New Jersey by hacking their way through rooftops with axes, hammers , etc.

I think part of the reason this really upsets me is because I'm a very average-looking gay guy. I'm the one who has to rely on his style, charm and wit to meet guys. This guy, being the looker he is, only had to walk out the door. He has God-given beauty and according to online sources was making a good living as a legitimate model in the last year or two. Why on earth would he jeopardize all that to rob small businesses!?!

I tell you, I just don't understand most people and I don't think I ever will. All I can say is never, ever be jealous of anyone because of how they look, or what they have because you never know how they got it or what they're doing to keep it. I'm glad for my average looks, my above-average intelligence and my simple life. I thank God for peace of mind and for clarity about my purpose here on this earth.

Try, Try and Try Again

2008-02-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

Recently my ex has been trying to weasel his way back into my life. We both attend the same church, so I see him on Sundays and I see him at choir rehearsal. For me, that's more than enough, especially considering the reasons behind our breakup.

As a compassionate Christian I am courteous to him and say hello and goodbye when I see him. For me, that's more than sufficient, especially just 4-5 months after an extremely bitter breakup. Some people I know, said they wouldn't even want to be in the same room with a person who did what he has done. However, I have forgiven him and moved on.

Unfortunately, my ex seems to be taking my kindness for weakness. He's started emailing and calling me about trivial things to 'test' the waters. What he doesn't seem to understand is that there isn't a chance in hell that I would get back with him! It's not personal, just business...lol. (I have to go about the business of my life and taking care of my person).

On Valentine's Day, dude calls and gabs on about some church-related issues (since that's all we have in common anymore) and at the very end of the conversation says "Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day". I said "Thank you, goodbye".

Yesterday, the fool calls me and says he would like to get together to have lunch and discuss "...ideas for the music ministry". Of course, I knew what he really wanted to talk about and I wanted no parts of it ! I simply stated that I didn't think that it was a "good idea" so soon after the breakup and that I was "not comfortable being alone with him".

Less than an hour later, he emails me asking me to "have lunch". I called him and explained again, this time much more firmly, that I thought having lunch with him was both a bad idea and unnecessary. I further eplained that I really didn't have anything to say to him about our past and that if he had something to say to me, he could say it over the phone. So, he starts talking some bull$hit about ideas for the music ministry and eventually he apologizes to me for the things he did that led to our breakup. I asked if that was all, he said yes, and I said thanks for the apology, and that we should limit our contact to church and rehearsals. I also stated that I think that I have been more than fair considering the circumstances surrounding our breakup.

If you guys have any opinions on this or any of my other blogs, leave a comment.

peace always,

strong

Is it time to move on?

2008-02-14T06:09:00.000-08:00

For the past week I've had a friend of many years visiting. We are both currently unemployed so what better to do than hang out? Initially, he was visiting for the weekend, however, the visit is at 6 days now. So far, so good, cuz' we get along pretty well. However, I'm am starting to notice some things.

My friend seems to be stuck in sort of a 'teen' mode (He's in his mid 30's). He surfs dating/hook-up sites all day long and calls the people he 'meets' on these sites his friends. Then he's preplexed when they don't come to visit or don't want to hook-up.

In addition, I notice that we don't have a lot to talk about besides guys. Don't get me wrong, I love men, love looking at them and discussing them, but sheesh isn't there more to talk about with all that's going on in this world?!?

Send me your feedback on this and any other issues.

peace always,

strong

Are You Ready?

2008-02-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

I was watching 'Oprah' the other day and I had an 'Aha' moment. Oprah's been talking about living your best life for years now and I think I finally get it. I suddenly realize that I am ready and willing to change my life for the better in all aspects. I have printed color flyers that read 'I Am Willing To Change'. I posted one on my fridge, one in my bathroom and one on my front door (so that when I'm leaving the house, it's the last thing I see).

There are so many things I want to do. I'll start with small things, like excercising for at least an hour a day (both indoors and outdoors), reading for at least an hour a day (for pleasure, not for school) and meditating and continuing to pray daily.

I'll keep you guys posted as I begin to make these changes .

peace always,

strong

Clearing The Cobwebs of Debt

2008-02-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

For years now, I've been weighed down by debt. Overall, I don't have very much debt compared to many of my friends and family. However, because the debt has been sitting on my credit report unresolved it has negatively affected my credit rating and my life in so many ways. Now, I am willing and ready to face the debt and make room for growth and progress in my life.

I can't recall how many times I have thought about wanting to buy something, a home, condo, car or any number of things only to be defeated by the ugly monster called my credit score. It all started when I was 17 and entered University. I didn't know anything about life or responsibility, yet I was thrust into the young adult world of a 36,000 student school. Because I registered late, when I arrived my financial aid wasn't ready, I had no money to buy books. I tried copying pages from classmates textbooks but that didn't work out too well. I quickly fell behind in my studies and thus began my downhill slide. By the time my financial aid arrived in the late fall, I was failing classes and took the money to shop with. My first major mistake. I could possibly have salvaged the semester but made a foolish choice and ended my time in college rather quickly.

Over the years, my mother co-signed for my first car and I didn't pay the car note. Once I didn't pay my rent on an apartment and was evicted even though I was bringing home 4 times the rent in monthly take-home income. I was even approved for an unsecured credit card and quickly f*cked that up!

I finally have realized that all these years I have been afraid of success. Even though I secretly lusted after material possessions and the peace of mind having savings and investments can bring, I must have somehow thought that I was unworthy of that peace. Now, I am ready. I am ready to clean up my debts, rebuild my credit history and enjoy the advantages that having an excellent credit history can provide in this country. It's taken nearly 39 years and a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. But I thank God for allowing me to finally be ready to live my best life.

I'm going to order copies of all three credit reports. Then, I will write to each vendor and ask that all debts 7 years or older be removed from my credit report. In my case, this should clear up a substantial number of old accounts that are weighing down my credit score. For other accounts, I will write to the vendors and negotiate settlement amounts. Typically, you can negotiate settlement amounts for pennies on the dollar of the original debt. Finally, I will open three secured credit cards and make on-time monthly payments on them. This will help me to rebuild my credit score and in combination with the systematic removal of old debt from my credit report, my credit score will quickly rise. In 1-2 years (or possibly less), I want to have a 790-850 credit score. A credit score in that range will allow me to buy a house or car at the best available interest rates and I will also be eligible for the lowest interest rates on credit cards.

I also have negotiated payment arrangements on my old student loans. Defaulted student loans are NEVER removed from your credit report. You must pay the loans off. Since I am planning to return to college and finally complete my degree this fall, I will make 6 months of payments, then I will be eligible for a 10-year deferrment of my old student loans. (Call the US Dept. of Education for more details and to make payment arrangements 800-621-3115). In addition, I have successfully negotiated to have over $5,ooo of penalty and late fees removed. This will substantially lower my overall student loan debt.

We have all made mistakes in life. Mine was not being responsible and accountable to pay my debts. Now, I have made the healthy decision to face my debt crisis and work my way out of this mountain of debt. I know that it can be done and I can't wait to see how my life will improve in all areas as a result. I am becoming a more responsible person and this will make me more well-rounded overall.

(I pray that my sharing my most intimate secrets has helped at least one person).

peace always,

strong

Separating your past from your present

2008-02-01T18:49:00.002-08:00

I've been invited to a Superbowl Party. Sounds like fun right? I thought so too, until my friend springs on me that he wants to invite my ex and wants to know if that's ok with me. Well the answer is heck no! I'm cordial with my ex but we've been apart about 4-5 months and I'm not quite ready to hang out and party with him. I see him at church and frankly that's more than enough. If you guys have any opinions on this matter, let me know.

peace,

strong

2008-02-01T18:49:00.001-08:00

Shopping Therapy

2008-01-31T05:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to the King of Prussia Mall, one of the largest malls in the USA. Ooh, I tell you there's nothing like the rush I get from shopping.

I love window shopping and actually buying things equally. This mall has just about every upscale department store you can think of from, Bloomingdales, Nordstroms and Lord & Taylor, to the grande diva of department stores; Neiman Marcus.

In addition, they have all the specialty stores like Louis Vuitton, Cartier, Brooks Brothers, Hermes, Burberry, Kenneth Cole, Armani Exchange, BCBG/Max Azria, Hugo Boss, David Yurman, Diesel, Movado, Salvatore Ferragamo, Tiffany and Tourneau to name a few.

I went for only the second time in 9 years and knew exactly where I wanted to go; Norsdtroms and Bloomingdales. You see in late January, most department stores are clearing out there winter and some of their resort collections at 50-70% off. With patience, you can score a few new pieces to update your wardrobe for next winter and you can wear the resort clothing in the upcoming spring and summer season.

I walked away with two incredible deals and so can you. Good Luck!

The Menace called Outlet Malls

2008-01-27T06:59:00.000-08:00

I should first state that I consider myself a pretty good shopper. I've always thought of it as one of the rights and privileges of being a gay guy. (Of course, nowadays, with the whole 'DL' thing, there are some tacky gay guys....ewww).

However, I'm here to tell you that when it comes to bargain shopping, not all outlet malls are created equal. Yesterday I went to the Jersey Gardens Outlet Mall which bills itself as the largest outlet mall in Jersey. The place was huge, but there was hardly a bargain to be found. A lot of the stores seemed to have really high prices and others matched the prices found on the sale racks in their retail stores.

In the end, there are only two outlet malls that I found good deals at and really enjoyed. (Unfortunately, they are both outdoor malls which means shopping there in the winter sucks bug time). Woodbury Commons in upstate New York has all the top designers. You will have to do some searching, but there is always a bargain to be found. I still can't believe the Versace shoes I got for $5o bucks that were marked $375 retail! My second favorite outlet in the great northeast is out in Reading, PA.

Some of the folks I went with did find really good deals for kids at the Jersey Gardens Mall, so I guess all was not lost.

I have a busy day today,church , then a gospel concert tonight, so I'll hit you guysup later on.

peace always,

strong

Come on Jay!

2008-01-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

Damn! You probably won't believe this but I've been watching that darn 'Make Me A Supermodel' on the Bravo cable network. Oddly enough, I really like the show. I mean what's not to like, they've got hot guys and girls doing all kinds of raunchy semi-nude semi-erotic poses on national tv! I love it!!!

I've been rooting for my boys Ben & Jay. Ben is a hot redneck prison guard with a southern accent and a wife and kid back home. Jay is a southern hunk of chocolate from the ATL who is always shouting out his (fictional) girlfriend 'Fatima'. I love Jay, but personally I think his mate is more likely named 'Hakim'. I mean I'm just sayin'. Anyway Jay is up for the elimination vote so I voted for him 10 times and asked him to check out old copies of GQ mag for poses. I also suggested he think of his 'girl' back home when he needs inspiration for the inevitable erotic photo shoot. Also, we need for Jay to stop acting so hard. I know he's a mechanic from the ATL with a 'girl' named Fatima, but come on man, we're in it to win it. Now let's do the damn thang!!!

Should I, or, Shouldn't I?

2008-01-23T08:49:00.000-08:00

In October 07' the office I worked at was significantly downsized from 200 employees to about 25. I was one of the 175 that was displaced at that time. We were given a generous severance package and 6 months of unployment compensation. Thus, I haven't worked in about 4 months. However, after taking no less that 3 week-long trips and paying off numerous bills, I'm getting bored and the money is running out. I guess I'll have to go back to work in the next couple of months. Damn!

It's all good though because I really needed this time to regroup after both my job and relationship ended in the same month. Now, I think I'm ready to go out and tackle the world again.

There's only one thing. I've been invited to Thailand by an old acquaintance. He has been going there for a few years now and has a boyfriend there. This trip he's planning on staying for 3 months. I'm considering visiting for about two weeks, since he is offering me free accomodations, (he'll have a penthouse suite while there). Essentially, I'll only have to pay for my transportation and my food while there. I'm thinking it's a once-in-a-lifetime offer so I may take him up on it. What do you guys think? Keep in mind that my bills will be paid through May o8' and I've never been overseas, unless you count the Carribean...lol.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. National Holiday

2008-01-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

Today is the national holiday honoring the late great Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. King was and still is a national hero. However, many of you don't know about Bayard Rustin, who was one of Dr. Kings' chief advisers, and who is considered by many to be the 'brains' behind some of Dr. King's most notable moves, including the historic 'March on Washington'.

Bayard Rustin was an openly gay black man who came from a Quaker religious background. This influenced his ethos for non-violence and justice for all. To learn more about this great behind-the-scenes hero of the Civil Rights Movement click here.... http://www.quakerinfo.com/quak_br.shtml .

There's also a great documentary on the Logo network, check your local cable listings for more on this.

peace always,

strong

Body Challenges

2008-01-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm one of those people who was always bone-thin and could eat anything he wanted and hardly gain any weight. I was so thin that I wasn't too upset when (in my 20's) I went from a 27" waist to a 28, 29 and even 30. By age 30, I was wearing a waist size 30 and thought that was ok because my body was starting to look like a man and no longer a boy. I also remember the day I went to the store and had to buy a 32" pair of jeans. I was still ok with that, because I knew that at 6'2" that was the perfect waist size. Of course over time I hit 34" and currently I wear a 36" waist. This kills me because I vowed never to go over a 32" waist. Ironically, women, especially black women think I look pretty good and discourage me from losing any weight (I'm 210 lbs now). Unfortunately, I'm a black gay man and at 38 years young, the pressure is on for me to get my weight down and keep it down. I like to wear high-fashion clothing and many top designers don't even go above a 36 waist. This means I can still wear some nice clothing but if I gain 10 pounds my options will be severely limited. Add to that the current high-fashion trend of making clothes with very narrow cuts (no thanks to Hedi Slimane of Dior Homme among others!) and you have a man feeling very challenged.

I've just started back excercising after a 3-month hiatus over the holiday season. I'm doing a one-hour walk outside everyday (weather permitting). I'm also doing yogilates which is a combination of yoga and pilates, as well as good old-fashioned push-ups, and ab work. (Look for Louise Solomon's Yoga & Pilates from Alliance Atlantis circa 2002).

There are also the health concerns involved. As African-Americans we tend to have a distorted view of healthy weights. Even though many people think I look pretty good, the reality is that according to the BMI (Body Mass Index) chart I'm overweight. I also bet that many of you would be shocked to find that even though you like the way your body looks you're considered overweight as well. Check out this site for more details... http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/ According to this government site, I need to lose at least 20lbs to be in a healthy weight zone, and for every 10 lbs we're overweight, we're literally taking days off our lives.

In closing, I'll say, stop drinking soda and juices and you can easily drop 10-20 pounds (that's what I'm doing). Also, turn the tv off and take your family, kids included for a walk, even if it is to the mall.

p.s. don't waste your money on Kevin Trudeau's book "The Weight Loss Cure They Don't Want ou To Know About"...while there is lots of good information in the book, the premise for the plan is a medical treatment that is controversial and probably difficult to get in the states. The highlights I took away are as follows :

1) Drink more water at room temperature
2) Walk at least an hour a day
3) Stop drinking sodas and juices (except fresh-squeezed juice with no sugar or additives)
4)Drink lots of green tea (Wu-long which you can get in your local Chinatown) with no sugar or honey added) I just bought an organic green tea at my local grocer
5) Stay away from 'diet' foods and artificial sweeteners like Splenda and Nutrasweet
6) Stop using your microwave
7) Drink only spring water, don't use tap water even to cook with
8) Buy a filter for your showerhead to remove metals and lead from your bath water
9) Stay away from fast-food restaurants
10) Try colon-cleansing (colonnics) at a certified colon cleansing spa

There, I just saved you from buying the book which retails for $29.95. I figure if I implement 8 out of 10 of the above steps, I'll improve my health and lose weight simultaneously. (I should disclose that there are over 60 steps in the book, I simply listed the ones I thought were the easiest to implement and cost the least to use).

peace always,

strong

(Un)Reasonable Demands

2008-01-16T14:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that people expect me to be perfect. It's as if I'm not allowed to make any mistakes. I enjoy life and I am active in my community and church. Today, someone called me to ask why I hadn't done something as if I'm the only person that could do what needed to be done. There were at least three others who were aware of the issue and they had equal access and ability to resolve the issue. But I'm the one who got the call to be reprimanded. I told the person in so many (polite) words that I am doing the very best I can with limited energy and resources and that I am only one person. The caller tried to agitate me, I remained silent and they said goodbye.

At least I'm proud that I didn't allow someone to aggravate me and make me stoop the level of arguing with them.

peace always,

strong

Tuesday Delight

2008-01-15T17:03:00.000-08:00

Hey Folks,

I said that I was going to post more often, so here I am. Sorry about the tirade a couple of days ago, however, I just needed to get some things off my chest. Feeling a lot better today. I'm hoping to start college full-time in the fall, but I have to bring some delinquent student loans current before I can get any new financial aid. (That sucks huh!)

Oh well, in other news, I went downtown today and shopped a bit. Ordered a book for a non-credit course I'm taking and saw lots of hot guys while I was out. I think it's hilarious that my town was voted one of the ugliest in the country with all the beautiful people that live here.

Anyways, until next time. If anyone has legitimate info on how I can improve my credit rating please hit me up. Alos, I'm trying to lose 20 lbs to go from 210 to about 190. I'm 6'2", so I think a toned 190 would look good on me.

peace always,

strong

Gettin' your Swirl on

2008-01-13T20:29:00.000-08:00

Ooh, I almost forgot one thing...I attended a dance recital event this evening which was also a tribute to the lost generation of creative black lgbt folk who died in the first wave of deaths from the AIDS epidemic in the 80's & 90's.

It was a beautiful event and I had the opportunity to see my favorite green-eyed redbone dancer for the second time in two days.

But that's not why I'm here tonight. I'm writing at 11:31pm because I'm a little bitter....yeah I said it...bitter. I'm bitter because it seems that many of the black gay men that I find interesting are only interested in dating corny white guys. I'm conflicted about this because I know some great people of all ethnicities. However, it never seems to fail that even in our leadership in the black lgbt community, the leaders are all dating white men. Am I the only one that seems to think there is a problem here? In addition, I think some of these people are only active in the black lgbt community to assuage their guilty consciences. At any rate, I feel much better now that I've gotten that bitterness off my chest. Peace and blessings yall.

Culture,Critics & Me

2008-01-13T20:23:00.000-08:00

Well, it's 2008 people and I promise to start blogging at least 3 times a week. I definitely have time on my hands now since I'm single again.

This weekend has been interesting. I attended a tribute to a black gay activist who I happen to be acquainted with and I found the event to be very interesting. It's amazing to me how even in our 30's and beyond, black gay men still tend to cordon themselves off into neat little groups.

I understand that people have their own needs, but I'm generally thinking of the community as a whole and frankly don't understand all the division and derisiveness, but hey, what the hell do I know. Anyways, until next time, peace always strong.

p.s. leave your questions and comments...I'm pretty thick-skinned so nothing much bothers me.

Drama Queen!

2006-07-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

OMG! I'm such an f'in' drama queen. I had the guy, he didn't want to leave and then I pushed him away. Now, he has a new boyfriend and I'm trippin'. But why?!?! He and I together were like oil and water. They just don't mix. Anyways, this is what I get for venturing into clearly marked dangerous territory.

The good news is I have lots of supportive friends and family who are always there for me. OK, I'm off to the GLBT Film Festival now.

peace always, strong.

Life In the Fast Lane!

2006-03-25T17:44:00.000-08:00

Hey Folks:

Wassup? Well I haven't posted in about 2 weeks so I'm here to catch you up on the news.

On March 10th I flew into Ft. Lauderdale to spend my birthday weekend with my family and my two best friends.

There was drama from the time I landed. My buddy G didn't like the hotel because of the location and we ended up crashing at my other friends place. That was a recipe for disaster because my boy R doesn't care much for G.

After 1 1/2 days my buddy G ended up going to a hotel because we all had a disagreement upon leaving the club the night before.

Overall, the trip to Miami was ok, but I have promised myself that my next vacation will be taken alone.

My new job is going ok. I don't really enjoy it, but I don't hate it either. I'm trying to think towards the future and am planning to go back to school to pursue a Masters degree... in something.

My new church is coming along well. I love all the energy and excitement of a new congregation and the process of building a new church.

That's all for now folks. peace always, strong

March Madness!

2006-03-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

Wassup peoples? I am still reeling from the Oscars performance with Three-6 Mafia and Taraji Henson tearing down the house vocally. I'm not real big on gangsta' rap, but I love the hook Ms. Henson sang.

March 13th is my birthday so I will be vacationing in sunny South Florida and getting out of frigid Philly for 5 days. My bes buddy is coming along to party and he's got a separate hotel room which means there will be peace on this trip. I can't wait to just be off work (from both jobs) for five whole days with nothing to do but party my ass off! I'll be 37 and I am glad as all get out to be here in good health, gainfully employed and able to travel and do some of the things in life that I've always wanted to do.

I'll keep you posted and may even post some pics from my trip upon my return.

peace always,

strong

Still Here....

2006-02-28T04:56:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I hadn't posted in a week so I thought I'd post a few blurbs about what I've been doing. First, I spent 2-3 days reeling after those meat packing plant workers in Nebraska won the Powerball lottery. My office mates and I played and we only won $7 bucks which we re-invested into the next lottery.

Sunday I worked 3 events at my part-time job and still managed to get to church. The last two days I haven't been feeling too well which is probably a result of not getting enough sleep. So last night I went to bed at a decent hour, (11:30pm) which allowed me to get 7.5 hours of sleep. Thus, I feel better and you find me here this morning.

One thing I will say is that I'm turning 37 on March 13th and I'm already starting to notice minor changes in how the body deals with stress, lack of sleep, etc. Nowadays my body says, uh-uh homie, take your ass to bed! lol... So, I'm learning to listen to my body because I want to be here a long, long time. Take care of yourselves and have an awesome day.

peace always,

strong

March Madness!

2006-02-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

Well people I've done it again. I promised myself after last summers fiasco in Chicago that I would never travel with either of my best friends again. I mean as much as I love these dudes, we just don't do well traveling together. This has been proven on more than one occasion over the years.

So what do I do? I opened my fat trap and now one of my best buddies is traveling to Miami with me to celebrate my 37th birthday with me and my family. Hopefully this time things will go a bit better because we're renting a two-bedroom two-bath condo which will give us both our own space. My best friend smokes and he snores like crazy which I can't stand. Other than that, we're inseparable. lol...

My weekend was pretty interesting. Friday night after work I went out with a few co-workers and we had drinks and dinner. It was a fun time. I didn't realize how much vodka I had consumed until I got home and was on the phone with a buddy and couldn't stop laughing until 30 minutes later! (Fortunately, I walked to and from the restaurant). Saturday I went grocery shopping, cleaned up the apartment, did some laundry and washed dishes. You know, the stuff most people hate to do. Sunday I went to church and afterwards went out to eat with some acquaintances. Overall, it was a nice relaxing weekend. And that was that.

Jensen Atwood from Noah's Arc

2006-02-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

I was dilly-dallying around on Google and stumbled across a slew of sites where folk are debating whether or not Jensen Atwood from Logo's "Noah's Arc" series is gay, straight or bisexual. I say what does it matter people?!? First and foremost he's an actor. If he was playing a 'straight' character would you question his sexuality? I doubt it! So, let's enjoy 'Noah's Arc' for the ground-breaking black lgbt show that it is and stop the bickering and in-fighting. Afterall, we don't want to ruin a good thing now do we?

Oh what a night!

2006-02-15T19:26:00.000-08:00

Well folks, today was payday and there's nothing like payday in a working man's life. I bought a new pair of jeans and a couple pair of sunglasses and for some reason felt like a new man afterwards.

A buddy called and asked if I was interested in joining him and his partner to see a movie called 'Tsotsi'. He didn't know much except that it was a foreign film about life in an African country. I agreed and tried to round up a couple of extra folks to join us to no avail. I met them at the theater and let me tell you the movie is gripping from the opening scene. Afterwards, the film producer was there for a question and answer session. Check out the website at http://tsotsithemovie.com/. The soundtrack is banging and I'm hoping to find it online soon.

peace always... strong

O Cupid, Where art thou?

2006-02-14T19:28:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day 2006 and the only card I got was from my mother. Guess I should be glad about that. If no one else in this world loves me, my mother certainly does. (Thanks Mom!) :o)

I love myself and generally find myself content with that. Of course, I'm human and periodically ache for human companionship. However, I'm 36 soon to be 37 and I'd be glad if love came along, but I now know that I can survive just fine on my own.

peace to all, and remember to always love yourself.

Restoration...

2006-02-12T16:13:00.000-08:00

This has been a truly refreshing and enlightening weekend. Unity Fellowship http://www.ufc-usa.org/nation.htm has opened a Philadelphia church. I love Unity and am going to become a member at the earliest possible opportunity. Check out the website at the link above and you'll see what I mean.

I also got a chance to hang out with some acquaintances this weekend that may develop into friends. This is exciting as I have been hoping to make some local friends for quite some time.

I feel blessed, refreshed and uplifted. I'll keep you posted on my growth in Unity Fellowship Philadelphia.

Life On The Other Side of The Rainbow...

2006-02-11T09:38:00.000-08:00

Wassup people?!? I was just sitting here thinking about the various aspects of black gay life. There's the Noah's Arc (see http://www.logoonline.com/) glamorous, lots of friends and socializing group....and then, there are the rest of us. I won't say that I don't have any friends because I do. The problem is my two best friends live in far-away cities. Locally, I have only casual acquaintances. Lots of them. But no one that I really connect with like my out-of-town buddies. Making friends in the City of Brotherly Love has been nearly impossible. Whenever I think someone wants to be my friend they always seem to have some alterior motive. (For example, they are attracted to me and don't have the balls to just come out and say it. This has happened several times).

Recently, I've hung out a few times with this interesting acquaintance I met at my part-time gig. He's in his 40's and had a heart transplant a few years back. That I find very intriguing. Also, we both have a love of fine restaurants, architecture and art. He's a cool guy and I actually enjoy hanging out with him. I'm just glad to have someone to hang out with who has similar interests and can hold a conversation without using Yo! or 'nahmean every fifth word!

Maybe I wasn't meant to have lots of friends and be a socialite, although secretly since I was a kid that's been my dream. I do get out often enough and I take several vacations a year, but someday soon, I'd love to have 2-3 buddies just to hang out locally with and shoot the breeze after work sometimes.

peace always,

strong

Friday!!!

2006-02-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

I caught myself feeling mildly depressed at times today. A client called me a prick twice in one conversation and I promptly told him to call me when he wasn't being a potty mouth, then hung up on him. Then I realized that I hate my new job already! Ouch! That sucks after 3 months of training. Anyways, I'm determined to do at least a year there so that I can transfer into a better position. Besides, I want this company to pay for my Masters degree, so I'll hav to bite the bullet for 2-3 years minimum.

After work I met up with an acquaintance and another couple and we went to a gallery exhibit with 3 up and coming artists. We got to talk to the artists and enjoy their company. It was quite interesting. There was lots of free wine and finger foods so I got a nice buzz which helped me forget the stress of the work week. My buddy picked up a contemporary piece that the gallery allowed him to pay for in installments. Way cool!

Tomorrow is a busy day so I'll say goodnight.

Wait A Minute!!!

2006-02-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

So wait, I forgot to tell you guys the update on "Just Another Day In Paradise.." from 02/04/06. The guy finally got back to me about going to lunch with him. So, I was a little excited but wondered why it took him a full week to get back to me. He emails me and asks me what I'm doing for lunch and I mention a local lunch spot. Then he shoots back an email asking if he can join me for lunch. Now, this whole thing is a lie because I typically go home for lunch since I live 2 blocks away from the office. Anyways, lunchtime approaches and I'm ready to go and he says "Wait, we have to wait for....". WTF?!? I finally thought I was gonna get dude alone for an hour and he invites his regular lunch buddy. Needless to say I went and was totally deflated. I tell you, I give up for now!

Access Denied....

2006-02-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

So, some guy reads my blog and sends me an invite to join some xclusivity.com website. He sends me a 'bypass code' which is sort of an invitation to join. I submit a picture and my membership must be approved by the members. Needless to say, I was intrigued. Shortly after submitting my pic I get an email stating that the current members must approve my pending application within 12 hours and that I would receive email notification.

So today I come home and check my email and this is what it said...Unfortunately 12 hour has passed and your profile has not been accepted by the current members.X-clusivity is key,X-xlusivity Staff . Wow! Now that's interesting. I had already anticipated that I wouldn't be admitted and I wasn't sure why. But it's ok. Actually, even if I was admitted I probably wouldn't have fit in with the members there. I've never fit in anywhere really, so what's new?!? I'm my own man and I'm proud to stay that way. It was nice of the fellow to extend the invite. Thanks dude.

The Beginning of the End...

2006-02-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

So today I had the brilliant idea of posting the link to my blog on a couple of Yahoo Groups that I belong to. Some of these groups have thousands of members, so this should spice up the responses I get on my blog. Afterall, I enjoy expressing myself, but it would be great to have the feedback of others. So bring it on , the good, the bad and the just plain ugly. (Lol...) I'm ready for it all. Welcome to the world of Strong.

Just Another Day In Paradise...

2006-02-04T17:29:00.000-08:00

It's hard for me to complain about my life. But I do it anyway. I mean I'm tall, not bad looking, well-educated and have not one but two great jobs. Yippee! Guess what, I don't have a buddy or two just to hang out with and party or chill with. Also, I have no dating prospects whatsoever. Sometimes, I think there's something inherently wrong with me. I started a new job recently and have been watching this guy for about 3 months now. (He's been watching me too). I asked him to go to lunch last Monday and he never got back to me, except to say "Oh ok". WTF?!?!? I've tried befriending folk from church to no avail as well. The only people that seem to want to hang out with me are the single women at work who want to date or try to 'convert' me. Help!!!

Lovehappens.com

2006-02-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it's only been a few days since I swore off the dating sites. But hey, a guy gets lonely, know what I mean? So, I stumbled across this site called lovehappens.com. Hopefully, I'll meet better quality men on this site than I did on this last one. I've jut completed my profile, so wish me luck.

strong

WTF?!?

2006-01-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

Ok. So I recently broke up with my ex as you all know. So, I decided to post ads on a gay men's dating site trying various cities for a few days at a time to see what kinds of responses I would get. Well, wouldn't you know that a$$holes are in every major city! Go figure. Guess I had that one coming. I mean come on guys. I clearly stated that I was seeking to make friends and possibly encounter a lifetime partner in the process and guess what? I got nearly 100 sex proposals. Beyond that, dudes just didn't read the ad. I stated that I lived in a different city as well as some of my hobbies, etc and I would get emails asking me for the very same information.

My biggest pet peeve was that I clearly stated no 'DL' or closeted men and the majority of the men that emailed me stated in their profiles that they are closeted or 'DL'! Also, I stated 'no pic, no response' and dozens of guys responded that had no pics. Man, I just don't get it.

Anyways, I became so frustrated after just a week or so of this BS that I deleted the ad. I'm just gonna work hard, save a ton of money and concentrate on my future and traveling. (At least that's what I say now...lol).

That's all for tonight folks.

strong

Where have I been?

2006-01-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

Hey Folks:

For the past 5 months I was dating. Just like many others, I turned my back on many things during that time (including my blog). I started the blog August 1, 2005 and met him August 12, 2005.

Here's what happened, I went to a Black LGBT Pride weekend-long celebration that one of my buddies was co-chairing out in Minneapolis. The first night there, at a jazz club event I met this guy. We had conversation and several glasses of wine later he was beginning to appear more interesting.

The next night there was a 'White Party'. You know, everyone dresses up in all white for a fancy-dress event. I showed up looking quitefly in a white linen pants and short-sleeved shirt. I was helping my buddy with some set-up when I saw him walk in. He looked like a vision in white. I was hooked!

That night we danced and got to know each other a lot better (wink). The following day, Sunday, was the final event of the weekend celebrations. A day-long outdoor cookout. I rode over with some friends and he showed up a bit later after church. We took a 2-hour walk where we really talked and learned more about each other.

I flew back to philly the next day. That's when the fantasy began to slowly unravel. This guy is nice, considerate and very thoughtful. However, he essentially lives a 'straight' life and is unwilling to come out anytime soon. Since I consider myself an LGBT activist and since I'm out to all my family friends, both jobs and anyone else in my life that matters, I just can't date a 'closeted' man. I consider it a disservice to myself and to the African-American LGBT community-at-large. Thus, a few weeks ago I dumped him. Then we got back together for a few days, and he dumped me. It's all for the best. I was starting to become obsessed with when/if he was coming out. This took away from the joy of the realtionship and eventually overshadowed it. I'm sure I'll give you more detailed information in the upcoming days and weeks so stay tuned.

Personal Info on Strong

2005-08-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

Name: Strong
Age: 36
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 185 lbs
Complexion: Caramel
Interests: Everything...(almost!...lol)
Resides in: Philly

Plight of the BGM

2005-08-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody. This is Strong. I was posting so much on this dudes site that he suggested I start a blog of my own. I have an opinion on everything and would love to engage in conversation, debate and the sharing of information and knowledge. I'm a BGM, (black gay male), so keep that in mind when you're trying to figure out where my perspective is coming from. However, being a BGM is only one part of me. There's much more so, stop by, take off your shoes and relax and read the post of the day or feel free to share your thoughts. I don't know where this will go, but I'm sure it will be 'a good thing in the end'.

peace always,

strong4u